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klagj

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I HATE CRUSHED ICE. [07 Feb 2007|10:02pm]
Crushed ice is the biggest SCAM in the fast food industry.

This is why I never go to sonic. THEY ALL USE CRUSHED ICE. So, I was at taco bell the other day and I noticed I finished my drink faster than usual and the cup was still very heavy. I opened it up to find, yes, CRUSHED ICE. Do they think we dont notice this SCAM. I pay for 16 OUNCES OF DRINK. NOT 12 OUNCES OF CRUSHED FUCKING ICE AND 4 OUNCES OF DRINK.

See, the crushed ice falls into your cup and fits together like a jigsaw puzzle leaving very little room for the actual drink. I havent ever actually measured the drink content of a cup full of crushed ice vs a cup with regular cube ice but one day I shall do it and expose this MENACE TO THE WORLD.

McDonalds is very generous, not only do they use cube ice, they use rectangular ice that has one side rounded outward like a lens. This ensures that absolutely no jigsaw-puzzle-esque fitting-together of the pieces will occur. Some places use rectangular ice with indentations on 2 of the sides that actually reduces the total amount of displacement caused by the ice cube.

So I have this heavy ass cup full of ice in front of me. Everytime I pick it up and notice its heft, I think, oh yes there is a lot of drink in here! but NO.

-----------

so, lets reduce to the absurd.

what if Sonic started using ice so small that it was almost like a snow cone. Then, they took a big rod and packed the ice down and put more in. Then they poured the drink in. That would fit like, one shot glass of drink.

This would certainly be illegal, wouldnt it?

So LEGALLY, where is the line drawn? What is the minimum diameter of ice that is allowed by law for drinks sold in fast food restaurants? HMM??

I have a feeling there is no established standard but there certainly should be. Sonic, by the way, charges you extra if you ask for less ice. This means they KNOW and the people KNOW the scam they are pulling. Ridiculous.
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ahtagtuhgahu [11 Dec 2006|08:57pm]
[ mood | horny ]

I have developed an immense hatred for sarcasm, and thus, anything I have posted here containing sarcasm will be deleted. Its not clever, its very rarely funny, its often misused and worst of all, its VERY inflammatory. If I just come out and call someone a whore, thats often much less insulting than using some sarcastic device to imply that they are a whore. Why would anyone want to do that? I am guilty of using too much sarcasm and that ends today.

I think the worst thing about sarcasm is how damn arrogant it sounds. In some contexts, it might not sound arrogant, but that is the exception. Whatever, I am sick of writing now.

Not really. Everyones been bugging me to read "Society of the Spectacle" by Guy Debord and I finally did. Good book. I recommend it.

Why is this so boring?

Im tired.

Anyway, the reason I mentioned that book is because I was going to bitch about how much I hate these moronic kids who are ruining the video game industry by being fanboys. Brand loyalty of any kind is so dumb. Video games are kind of like sports. In sports, there are so many moronic fans who drown out the intelligent fans. Not that I like sports but part of the reason I hate them is because of all the idiots who drool over it.

The same thing is happening in video games.

I shouldnt be updating this today, im just not feelin it. The words aint flowin.

'Bet!'

One of my friends used to say "bet" instead of "bye" and it was funny.

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TIFF IS teH BAbE1!11!!! [13 Nov 2005|05:32pm]
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Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com mY hErO!!11Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
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I LOVE POOP ITS SO BROWN AND GORGEOUS [04 Apr 2005|04:07pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Ok, so I am completely lazy and totally worthless. I REALLY HAVE been meaning to update this thing for...weeks. But it hasnt happened so here I am forcing it. Just like you have to force poop from time to time. If you dont force poop, you will create a fecal impaction. Here is my favorite internet blurb about fecal impactions: "A fecal impaction is a large mass of dry, hard stool that can develop in the rectum due to chronic constipation. This mass may be so hard that it cannot be excreted. Watery stool from higher in the bowel may move around the mass and leak out, causing soiling." Ok, so in an attempt to prevent any sort of internet-journal-updating-fecal-impaction-like disorders, I am here. Writing about fecal impactions. I have never personally experienced one but ive been PRETTY DAMN CONSTIPATED. Then when it finally comes out you feel like you are bombing hiroshima. The individual turds are so large and dense that they splash water up into your butt. Its like a free bidet...before you need it. Because then more poop cascades out dirtying up the area again. No but before long you have so much in there displacing so much water that you worry if it will flush alright. Sometimes you have to flush halfway because you know you just have so much up in there. There was a girl in my english class in high school who would talk about her bowel movements. She would describe it in such great detail...the size, the scent, the feeling, the texture, the composition...I really did not understand the poetry of the bowel movement until after I spent many hours contemplating her talks. Next time you are squatting over the toilet trying to expel your demons, breathe in deep...come into the moment. Live in the present, be aware of the MOMENT. Dont let it slip away...really dont let it slip, hold it up for a few seconds. Savor the feeling, the great pain. Then, all at once, relax and let it free. LET! IT! FREE! As the weight is lifted (or dropped in this case) feel your new self. Your new, cleansed self. Keep breathing and contemplating, you might have an epiphany like I did. It will change your life. Stand up and examine the cause of all your ills. Lying there, alone, isolated. Unable to cause any more suffering or pain. Helpless. Each bowel movement has a lesson to teach you. Dont hastily flush it, and miss out. No. Stand over it and feel its presence in the room with you. Each turd is an individual. An individual turd, broken off from one large strand. Intrinsically, they are the same for they stem from the same strand, but they are not. Much like the human race. All intrinsically linked by the fact that we are all humans. All of us have been endowed with the gifts of reason and awareness. All of us are linked by a common background. A thread, extending back into eternity and forward into oblivion. One human family. Feel the similarities between you and the turd, a connection, not only on that level but also in the fact that you created it. YOU created that turd. It is an object of your own biology. As you wipe its remains off your rectum, dropping it into the toilet and covering the turd, think again about its purpose. Everything has a purpose on this earth, and there are lessons to be learned all around us. Say a small "thank you," bow your head, and pull the magic lever. The judgement lever that will whisk away the small turd to his eternal home, with his kin, in the mighty septic tank. As you watch it swirl away, a small tear might run down your face. Dont be sad. Dont be sad FOR THIS IS A JOYOUS OCCASION. Rejoyce in your bowel movement.

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